Have you ever seen a wrecking ball hit a brick wall?  Yesterday, when the chemo started dripping in, it started the rise, the lift, of the crane.  Last night I started to feel the impact coming, and this morning I was hit.  I dragged myself through a shower, popped my anti-nausea meds and sat on the sideline of the field across the street with Greta’s baby...

Maren and I have a little ritual: whenever we see an ambulance or hear a siren, we say a little prayer for whomever is in that particular ambulance at that particular time.  “Dear God, please help the people in the ambulance to be strong and healthy.”  To be honest, I totally stole the practice from a friend of mine; it was not my idea, but I thought it...

Brad and I will wake in the dark, peek in on our babies, and tiptoe out the door.  We will listen to something peaceful on the way to the hospital.  We will hold hands.   We will talk, or not.  It doesn’t matter; we enjoy each other’s presence  equally in the best and in the worst of times. At 6 am, we will find the right waiting room and wait.  I...

I am sifting through the stack of papers on our counter that materializes out of thin air by the hour.  Seriously, where does it come from?  There is mail, Maren art, catalogues, to do lists, receipts, grocery lists, coupons, and more Maren art.  I sort, toss, file.  I move through the pile and I find that I have a coupon for “$10.00 Off: All styles of bangs...

These three days are a mixed blessing.  I have three days of no appointments, reverting me back to my very normal, very everyday routine with my girls and our little schedule that we run on.  Baby Sister is here and we have a comfort and an ease as we move about the house, trading off kids and duties and car keys.  She’s picking up all of the mundane: laundry,...