Tonight I tucked Maren in.  (Oh, how I miss tucking my girls in every night!)  She’s been having nightmares, anxiety, and fear at night, so I was reassuring her, praying with her, and encouraging her.  One of the strategies that we use for her to self-soothe is for her to lie in bed and count off ten happy things on her fingers.  To teach her this practice, I...

The other day, my friend Joy was walking behind her daughter and my Maren.  The girls were chattering away, as five-year-olds do.  Joy tuned in to hear this snippet of their conversation; it’s Maren describing to her friend what the plan is for the coming week(s): Maren, “My mom is going to the hospital to have surgery.”  Gesturing to her chest,...

    Maren drew this picture of me yesterday, and said, “Mama I made this picture of you.  Aren’t you beautiful?”:I love many things about this picture: -My hair: it’s pretty true-to-life.  She no longer draws me as she remembers me before cancer; she draws me as I am today. -My teeth: her friend lost a tooth at our house yesterday,...

I am happy. I did have a lovely day with my girls yesterday.  They were exceptionally cheerful and there was hardly any whining!  (I assure you this is monumental.)  Maren asked for a list of jobs to earn a reward, and she did the (longish) list of (age-appropriate, yet complex) tasks while prancing and smiling around the house.  I found myself watching her,...

At breakfast this morning Maren was chattering on and, honestly, I wasn’t all that tuned in.  My thoughts were like: we need more babyfood for Greta, and does Maren’s Poptart have any nutritional value whatsoever, and what is that sticky stuff I keep stepping in?  A pretty normal morning at my house.  Maren concludes her monologue with a reference to...

Dr. Wonderful asks, as he does at every appointment, “So Jen, have you noticed any changes after the last week or so?” “Well, I had some tingling after the last chemo for the first time.  That was cool.”  He nods.  “And I think it is a bit smaller, but I have a hard time assessing.  The biggest thing that I did was to send out a request...