Pinch me

Remember last Monday when I got the news about my new cancer spots?

I shared the news with Brad first: we have new spots.  Telling him news like that is kind of like watching the distorting scenes from the old Matrix movies: we bend and absorb to accommodate news we simultaneously revolt against and commit to thrive in.  We are in this together, and he has the obviously-harder job of being the hand-holding half of us.  Next I began calling my family who all respond in their own ways.  I sent a short text out to the few folks who knew I was having a scan: Three new cancer spots found today; I will blog details sometime before bed tonight.  I choose joy.

I arranged for Phenom to keep Greta a little longer so that I could have a quiet after school hour alone with Maren.  We had a cuddle on the couch where I told her the news about the spots, what it means, and what it doesn’t mean.  We prayed and we talked about three good things that happened to each of us during the day.  She is so strong, that girl.

Brad came home from work and gave me a long, tight hug.  Our girls mingle around, among and between us, as they always do.  In the middle of our evening shuffle dance around the kitchen, Brad looked at me with the weight of love in his eyes and said, “I think I know what we should do tonight.”

I looked at him, puzzled, thinking to myself, “What is the thing we should do tonight?”

He said with conviction, “I think we should make the arrangements to send you to Australia.”

Let me explain that because in a normal family that sounds cra-cra-crazy.  (And to be clear: my family is not normal.  We are abnormally awesome.)  My mom (aka NanaRoz, aka The Rozzinator, aka Nurse Roz–she has many hats) is Australian.  She was born and raised in Australia, came to the USA as an exchange student, met my dad, and married him five years after they met after they had lived apart for four of those five years.  They got married in Australia, then promptly moved to the USA where they have lived for the past thirty-nine years.

Mom moved here alone though; she left her parents, four siblings and extended family all in Australia.  Over the decades, the family has grown so that I have four pairs of aunts and uncles and eight cousins there.  All of them have been here at sometime or another for fabulous bursts of visiting.  We are marvelously close, especially given the miles between us.  Mom and Dad committed to traveling to Australia with my sisters and I every three to five years as we grew up, and Brad has encouraged me to managed to maintain a similar schedule as I’ve become an adult.  Some might say I’m well-traveled, but for much of my pre-Brad life I only knew the Midwest/coastal US and southeast Queensland, Australia.  Our trips there were not about the exotic country of Australia, though it is a wonderful place to visit and explore.  It’s all about the people I love who live there.

The first of my eight Australian cousins gets married on Saturday; Mom and Dad have been planning to attend the wedding — Dad’s first trip to Australia in nine years — since she got engaged eighteen months ago.  I’ve wanted to come, but I’m a grown up and wanting something doesn’t mean I get it.  I was very, very, very hesitant to spend our hard-earned money on a trip that was so Jen-centric.  I want to spend my time, energy and resources with Brad, Maren, Greta first.  And that’s as it should be.

But Brad, being the sensational man that he is, knows the dynamic of the Australian family and how rare it is for everyone to be together for such a wonderful occasion.  He knows that one of my triplet cousins (three of us have long red curly hair and light eyes) is marrying a wonderful man and we adore them both.  He knows that a week of normal-school-and-work-and-routine for he, Maren and Greta is something that should be an acceptable sacrifice for me to miss.

So, he insisted.  “Jen, this is the best thing you can do for your family this year.  This is a gift.  I want to give them the gift of you for this.”

And so, through happy tear-filled eyes at the anticipation of my adventure and the bottomless capacity with which my man loves me, I clickity-clicked my way through itineraries and bought myself a ticket to Australia for ten days.  It’s the shortest trip I’ve ever made there, and I do miss my loves a great deal.

But I’m here.  I’m in Australia sitting in my aunt and uncles gorgeous home as a caucoughony of whip birds, mynas, lorikeets, and butcherbirds sing and the wind blows.  The scent of the orange jasmine tree wafts in through the open windows and tropical air.  But, as I said, it’s not about the setting: it’s about the people.

I told the fiancé I was coming, so that he could graciously accept my very-very-very-late RSVP to the wedding.  I told my sisters — lifetime co-conspirators that we are — hoping that they could juggle logistics so that they could come too.  Baby Sister, fresh off the ship, was able to pull it off, and she arrived three days before me; she looped in one uncle and cousin to our mission, and began the wave of surprises for everyone else.

As I sat in LAX airport, I was texting my parents — who were sitting at their layover in DFW — and wishing them safe travels.  They thought I was safe at home with Brad, watching the Badgers play in the NCAA Final Four.  I flew on the same fourteen hour flight as family friends–an American brother-from-another-mother and his wife–who were also flying in for the wedding.  I managed to dodge them all along the way to keep my surprise intact.

As I exited Brisbane customs I saw them: a tight circle of my my family laughing and talking with the family friends who exited a few minutes before me.  I ran around the barriers, into the middle of the circle and said, “Who’s ready to party???!!!”

Everyone began shrieking, as we do in our family, and half began crying.  I went around the circle with hugs and gotcha’s and yay’s and WOO HOO’s.  That moment of surprise is so fun.  Our family is so fun.

After everyone regrouped and our hearts resumed normal heartbeats, we began talking logistics: Mom and Dad — who didn’t know I was coming either — were due in two hours later because they had a connection through Sydney.  Some members of the party would stay/return to welcome them off their long flight.  The rest of us were preparing to load into cars, freshen up, relax together, and plan the surprises for the rest of the week.  From behind us we hear a very Roslyn, “Hey! There they are!”  We all spin around.  (It turns out that Sydney was fogged over, so they were diverted — very conveniently — to Brisbane ahead of schedule.)

Mom’s eyes lock on Baby Sister — whom she didn’t know would be in Australia, and she starts yelling over the barricade, “Woo hoo!”

Dad’s eyes lock on me — stunned and thrilled — and we all make our way around the barricade to hug and love each other.

Immediately we had to explain the Chief Sister’s not here: she couldn’t come without losing face at her work, a job she likes and a company wants to advance in.  But she’s here in our hearts.

That airport moment is one that I won’t forget: we’re all talking over each other and laugh-crying and bursting with energy and fun.  The welcoming party was sizable because our family does airport welcomes in big fun ways, but there were still a lot of family members scattered up the coast to surprise.  Over the past few days I’ve gotten to shazam them one-by-one with my appearance.  Each moment sticks with me because it’s such-a-big-deal to get here and be here.  No one was expecting it.  Brad and I pulled it off.  They have graciously rearranged their schedules, opened their homes, and extended their tables to welcome us with open arms.

Brad’s was right; this isn’t a Jen-centric trip.  It’s about our one-big-happy-family who happen to have a lot of miles between us  — most of the time.

Because of both the surprise and the short lead time of the trip, very few people at home knew I was coming.  Brad called his parents with the news and SuperGramma jumped onboard and rearranged her schedule so that she could come to Cincinnati and maximize the quality time with Maren and Greta.  Isn’t she amazing?  When I booked the trip on March 23rd, I realized I would be to Australia and back within three weeks.  Pinch me.

I’m here because of my one-big-happy-family and because my husband is the most selfless and wonderful man who loves me in the biggest, brightest, happiest ways he dream up.

Pinch me; I am living a dream.